


I wish you would love me....

by BlossomRose



Category: Kuroshitsuji : The Most Beautiful DEATH in the World - Iwasaki/Mori/Mari, Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Best Friends, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Love, M/M, Sad, sweet but sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22130440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlossomRose/pseuds/BlossomRose
Summary: Alan had been keeping secrets from Eric for a while. He had fallen in love with his former mentor and best friend but was too shy to admit it. Also he was in loss of words to tell Eric about his disease.But how should he know, that Eric felt the same way about Alan....?
Relationships: Alan Humphries & Eric Slingby, Alan Humphries/Eric Slingby
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	I wish you would love me....

Alan had been keeping secrets from Eric for a while now.  
Of course he never meant to do so, he liked Eric… a lot and to be honest, he even had fallen in love with him over these years.  
Eversince Alan had graduated from the academy, Eric was by his side, at first he was his mentor but they had become really good friends, spending every and each minute of freetime together.  
They had become so close, that Alan could tell by the twitch of Erics bottom lip what he was feeling and would say next and Eric could read Alan so well, that he always knew what the other was feeling, even with the slightest chances in body language.  
The brownhaired reaper really cherished their bond.  
But years weren’t valid anymore if one needs to make every moment count, when his time is limited.  
It was different for the other reapers, they had infinite time on their hands, they could waist it just as they pleased but Alan… he couldn’t.  
He had no time to waist anymore.  
The diagnose was still fresh, he could still hear the doctors voice, telling him, he had the only incurable disease that could kill grim reapers.  
As if his dependance on meds he had brought from his human live wasn’t enough.  
He grew up in an asylum where they tested medication on their patients, he survived it all until the day he killed himself with the pills he saved up but that had made his system so addicted to medication, that not even in death he could get rid of it.  
He needed meds for everything, not even swallowing worked correctly if he didn’t get something for it, his stomach wasn’t uses to digesting and so on…  
Destiny never liked him, or so he felt.  
He always had been feeling lonely, before he met Eric.  
When he met Eric, and grew close to him, he finally felt accepted, he felt as if someone really cared about him, liked him but all of this got taken away from him the moment, the doctor diagnosed him with the thorns of death.  
The thorns of death, what kind of disease even has such a name?’ Alan thought to himself as he walked down the hallway.  
It has been three weeks since his diagnose but it felt like forever.  
And the fact, that it could be over any minute made it worse.  
Although they told him he would have at least a couple of months, maybe even years, that didn’t made it better.  
Because the words of the doctor were stuck in his mind and ears, he kept hearing them over and over, as if his mind was possessed.  
Alan made his way to the main entrance, his shift was over and he was on his way home, he needed to walk his dog.  
Blossom, his Labrador lady, was his best friend and buddy, he loved her very much.  
He rescued her from a shelter when she was really small, they told him that she wouldn’t make it but he wouldn’t believe them, he just wanted to save that puppy.  
So he nursed her, got up evers 2 hours to feed her and to make sure she was okay, it was tough but it payed off.  
Now she was 2 years old and completely healthy.  
She was a very clever dog and he had no troubles at all teaching her the basics, like, sit, stay and walking right next to him without a leash.  
But that has been too basic for that dog, or so he believed, because without teaching her, one day, when Alan had been doing the laundry, she came up to him, carrying the dirty laundry from the bedroom in her snout, dropping it right infront of the washing machine.  
Alan had been very surprised but was proud of his good girl and never told her to stop if she did something to help him.  
He loved his little girl ver much and couldn't imagine a life without her.

As he entered his apartment he could hear paws toddle over the floor and then he saw her blonde head peeking around the corner.  
He smiled, „Hey Blossom“ he greeted her and she came up wagging her tail, she wanted to be pet.  
He stroked her head and ruffled her back fur, she wagged her tail and pressed herself against his legs, she loved him.  
„Hey baby, sorry I’ve been gone for so long. Let’s go for a walk“ he smiled, „Go get it“ he said and she sprinted off, getting her leash.  
He took off his jacket, vest and bolo tie and changed his shoes.  
Then Blossom can up to him with her leash in her snout, wagging her tail happily.  
He took it and left the flat with her, „Come on“ he said with a soft smile on his lips.  
The dog really brought joy to his every day live.  
She walked without her leash right next to him sniffing the corners of houses and looking happy.  
His mind wandered as he reached the fields with her, where he let her run a bit, he knew she wouldn’t run away from him.  
How could he possibly tell Eric? He didn’t want to make him worry or even make him sad with him eventually passing some day.  
He loved him but keeping secrets from his best friend would be worse…  
What should he do?  
„Hey, Al“ he heard a deep but soft voice behind him, he smiled, it was Eric calling for him.  
Alan turned around, „Hey Eric“ he greeted, Blossom came running, barking happily, when she saw Eric she went up to him, curiously sniffing his bare legs and a bit up his thighs, pushing up his kilt with her snout while doing so.  
„Hey, girl, who do ye belong te?“ he asked the dog stepping back and petting her.  
„She’s mine, her name is Blossom“ Alan answered and walked up to Eric, „Seems like she likes you“ he then smiled.  
„Aye“ Eric grinned, „Who’s a good girl?“ he asked the dog and fondeled her ears wich Blossom always loved.  
She leaned into the touch and heckled, it looked like she was smiling.  
„A polite lil lady“ he then said and looked at Alan, „Never knew ye had a dog, how come? Thought ye were more a cat person.“  
„I adopted her when she was very young, she’s two now“ Alan explained, „You never asked me about it so I never told you.“  
„I'm o' a walk wi' me boy too“ he then said and whistled, a golden coloured retriever came running from across the fields.  
„Tis Whisky“ he said as the dog made his way up to them, wagging his tail and sniffed around Blossom and Alan.  
„Well… friendly“ Alan smiled down at Whisky.  
Whisky whimpered happily, „'e's no' the sharpest tool in the shed bu'is heart is right“ Eric grinned.  
„Just like you“ Alan grinned back before he realised what he just said and bit his bottom lip.  
Eric grinned, „Gee' thanks Al, ye think I have a good heart?“ Eric smiled.  
Alan cheeks flushed soft pink as he nodded slowly, Eric ruffled his hair, „Dun be embarrassed, I take it as a complement, kay?“  
The younger reaper smiles softly but said nothing.  
"Ye feel better Al? Keepin' yer distance lately" Eric said after a few moments.  
Alan felt his palms getting swaety and alump grow in his throat, now he was in desperate need of a good excuse.  
"Uh... mh... I wasn't feeling good lately, sorry if I made you worry, I didn't mean to." Alan said and turned his head, seing Erics worried expression his heart sank to the pit of his stomach.  
"Ye worried me alright" Eric said, "I thought I did som'n te ye that's why yer keepin' yer distance." he then eyed his best friend, "Sure I didn't do som'n?"  
Alan shook his head, smiling softly, "No, you did nothing, I just wasn't feeling all that well, I never meant to keep my distance from you Eric, you know how much you mean to me, you are my best friend:"  
//And I wish you would be more then that// Alan added in his thoughts.

The next morning Alan woke up with a gut feeling.  
He felt nauseous and his throat ached a bit, but after he had taken his meds, it got a bit better.  
After Blossoms morning walk Alan got dressed for work.  
As he got into his car, a cute grasgreen polo, his phone rang, Eric name popped up on the display.  
Alan answered, „Hello?“  
„Hey, Al, jus' checkin', ye remember the plan.“ Eric greeted from the other end.  
Alan was a bit confused, „What plan?“ he asked carefully, prepairing for scolding.  
Eric chuckled, Alan could hear that, „That we meet infront o' the buildin' and go reapin' together since we have shift together:“ Eric explained.  
Alan was relieved, „Oh yeah, I’ll be there in 10 minutes. Thanks for reminding me Eric.“  
„No prob“ Eric replied and hung up.  
Alan put the phone back into his pocket and drove to work.  
As he had parked the car and went up to the building, Eric was already waiting for him, cigarette in hand he stood there smoking.  
When he saw Alan Erics face lit up, he put out the cigarette, and came up to the younger reaper, „Goo’ mor’n Alan."  
//He always seems to be in a good mood as soon as I am near him// Alan thought //or maybe I'm just imagining things....//  
Alan smiled and greeted Eric, „Good morning Eric, how are you?“  
Eric chuckled, „Good good an’ ye?“ the scotsman replied.  
Alan nodded, „So far so good.“ He never knew how he was supposed to feel, especially around Eric.  
„Like te hear that“ the taller reaper said and ruffled the other mans hair, „So, ye ready te go?“  
Alan nodded, „Yes, I am.“ //No I'm not...//  
Eric formed a portal to London for the two of them and once they went through, he took a deep breath, „Smells worse every time we get'ere“, he said dryly.  
Alan nodded, „The air is not the best, that’s true. It smells like, coal, dirt and death“ Alan agreed.  
„And the beginnin' boom of industry makes people go te war… I mean, look at us, we're way more modern and do ye see us goin' te war? No ye don'“ Eric pointed out.  
„Because reapers realise how valueable live is when it’s too late, that’s why we try to make the best of what we have left.“ Alan replied.  
That made Eric go silent for a moment, Alan had a point, reapers were more modern then humans, not just with technology but also with thinking and laws.  
Being openly gay, bi, trans or anything like that, was accepted and normal, unlike in the human world.  
Well, to point out, it was the year 1880, Eric doubted that it would change any time soon.  
How often had he collected the souls of poor guys or girls who got murdered by family and friends for being gay or for changing their appearance because they felt uncomfortable in their biological sex.  
That was also why Grell killed herself, Eric loved the flaming red lady, she was a very good friend and she was a great field officer but even for her it was hard now,  
because the guy she loved had hard times returning these feelings.  
Not because of her sex or gender, but because she was so extra, that was very good, she knew what she wanted but for someone like William it was hard to come around to.  
Although he was sure William loved her too but didn’t know how to express that.  
Germans did have other ways then the irish, or the scots.  
Eric never had problems expressing how he felt or what he thought… at least it has been that way but when it comes to Alan, he had no idea how to say stuff and how to feel.  
He looked over to Alan, who was looking down into the streets and smiled, he was so adorable and pure, the thought of Alan alone with him made Eric palms tingle, sweaty and he couldn’t stop from engaging in impure thoughts.  
He often fantasized about Alan wearing nothing but restraints and a silver collar around his adorable neck.  
Eric loved this type of fantasy, doing all sorts of kinky things to Alan, making love to him and giving him nothing but passion and love, trust and safety in these moments.  
The scotsman had to admit, he had a huge crush on his best friend and got extremly jealous when Alan told him about the plans he had made with Grell for the evening.  
Sometimes he wished, he could just grab Alan, through him over his shoulder and keep him all to himself.  
But he couldn't he could never do something, Alan would disapprove of but still... he wanted Alan to belong to him.  
Okay, he was totally perverted to be honest but he’s always been that way and he wouldn’t change for anyone, it was part of his charm.  
„Eric? You okay?“ Aan asked as he realised, Eric had been starring at him the entire time.  
The blonde an nodded and grinned, „Aye, fine as can be, ye?“ he replied, trying to cover up the uprising embarrassment inside of him.  
„I’m fine too, thanks for asking“ the younger reaper smiled shyly.  
//If I only had the words or the courage to tell you… I love you... Eric, what should I do?//

**Author's Note:**

> I really love Alan and Eric and in my mind I have so many scenarios for the two of them that I can't even finish the big story properly without arguing with myself about on how it should end xD.  
> But anyway, I hope this little oneshot was to your liking and I once again want to apologize if my grammar was mixed up again>.<  
> Thank you for reading and I'll hopefully see you in my next story :3
> 
> BlossomRose


End file.
